Mean Boys

I found out today that women don't have a corner on the market of mean girl behaviors. It's interesting to see men giving the snub, refusing to acknowledge an other's presence and whispering behind others' backs. And, it brings up all kinds of fears about raising an adolescent.

Like, will my girl be a "mean girl?" She's never shown that kind of tendency, except towards me. I would think if I found out she was a "mean girl," I could figure out a way, or consult a trusty manual to figure out a way, to nip that in the bud. I would also hate to think she could be a victim of mean girls. What would I do then? I firmly believe kids have the tools solve their own problems, so I guess the answer is to just help them find those tools.

Do people realize it when they're mean? I always wonder why people venture down this path. In the case of the man I witnessed today, I see immaturity as the underlying issue. But, when it's about kids (and probably adults now that I think about it), I think it's about positioning yourself socially. Is this why she's a mean girl to me? Is she trying to change her status from one of underling to one who's in control? One who has the power?

So, if kids have the tools to solve their own problems, where are my mean girl tools?

Bananas

It's funny sometimes how kids position themselves within the family. My nine year old knows that things are tense between our 'tween and her parents. Naturally, he is poised to take full advantage. So, any time he has the opportunity to emphasize his good behavior, he seizes the moment.

On Tuesday, a great big fit was thrown over breakfast. Seems that daddy errantly placed bananas on top of pubescent one's cereal. The audacity! Not only did she not ASK for bananas, she does not LIKE bananas on HER cereal, and further, "HE HAS NO RIGHT TO PUT BANANAS ON MY CEREAL!" Stomp, slam, etc.

Today, Wednesday, 9 year old walks up to his banana laden cereal and says, "Hmmm. Bananas. I did not ask for them, but I will eat them, and just be grateful!" Smile, preen, etc.

Mom, knowing full well what was going on says, "you're a good boy." pat, kiss, etc.

Teamwork.