Clod

This experience of being a mom of a pre teen has made me look back at my own adolescence and wonder, "was I this awful?" The answer is probably yes. Confirmed today by the following message received via Facebook:

I wanted to say hi. My name is XXX and we used to be friends in the sixth grade at Butler school. You gave me a autograph book for my birthday or Christmas and it said something about the swimming team because you meant to give it to somebody else. It said PS Susa is the best.We were really only friends for about a year at Butler, I went over to your house a couple of differnt times in the fall, you lived by Washington Park. I also remember you had som sort of a accident in school. Just wanted to say hello.

What a great friend I was! What a clod! I gave her an autograph book that clearly was intended for someone else. This is how I am remembered. Until this day, I had no memory of these events. Except probably the accident. I think she's referring to when I fell though a ground level plate glass window and received some minor (thankfully) cuts. However, this did not take place in school. Why can't I be remembered for some lovely charitable act? Probably because I don't think I had it in me back then.

I guess it's pretty standard for 6th graders to be self centered and for friendships to be short lived. I can only hope that my kids will be remembered a bit more fondly. I can't protect my kids from making mistakes. Certainly, my parents couldn't either.

Smoother

While travelling last weekend, I received an email with an attachment on my iPhone. In general, I don't open attachments on the iPhone, because they're difficult to read with my aging eyes. This one, however, caught my attention.

The message was from my daughter. It read, Dear Kates Family, Please fill in the following chart as to what chores you want to do on what days. The goal is to make things run smoother at this house.

Smoother? I wondered just how much smoother she would like to see things run. We are busy people. Very busy people. Business owners, students, athletes, volunteers. We manage to work out, keep ourselves showered and presentable. We are rarely late. The house is clean (albeit we have a housekeeper every two weeks) and straightened. Really, just what is not going well, in her estimation?

For my kids, there are two fears: aftercare and hot lunch from the cafeteria. In all my years of parenting, they have never been subjected to these tortures. This email made me recall the one and only time something went wrong in our pickup schedule. The friend who forgot to pick them up realized her mistake and immediately returned to school. She found them both in the principal's office crying and holding each other. They are not shy to share their drama.

I didn't need to look much further for the explanation. You see, she forgot the attachment. So, a following message read, Here is the updated chore Schedule! If you think something might not be do able, let me know. She had filled her own chores in and her brother's. Left blank were mama and daddy's spaces.

My instinct told me to wait until I returned home to fill in my blanks. She was waiting, with pencil in hand, when I returned to "work with me," on my schedule. So, we did. I am responsible for cooking dinner on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I also must do laundry on Sundays. Weed the garden on Saturdays. I actually was impressed with the chores she chose for herself and her brother. Some perspective told me not to focus on the subtle critique of my home management. She is just trying to help out, and this instinct to organize everyone around her? Well, she comes by it honestly.

Sure hope things run smoother.